Transgender Women’s Lives: A Family Matter
Also published in the Huffington Post, here. This year we’ve broken a record, and it’s not a good one. More transgender women have been killed in the U.S. than in any other year on record. I’m heartbroken and angered that women keep dying, most of them women of color, most of them Black. Most were between the ages of 17-25, just coming into adulthood, when their lives, dreams and futures were stolen. They were sisters, daughters, granddaughters, aunties and more. I cannot even imagine the devastation I would feel if this...
read moreSeeing and Naming Racism in Nonprofit and Public Organizations
In light of the unrelenting and vicious assaults on the Black community, and in response to the #BlackLivesMatter movement, I have asked myself what more I can do to challenge racism, particularly anti-Black racism. One thing I am doing is challenging myself to be more aware and forthright in noticing and speaking out about the racism I see when I work with non-profit and public organizations. This post is an effort to name those things that often go unnamed to facilitate dialogue and action. “For white people, their identities rest on...
read moreDiversity & Equity: Closing the Leadership Gap
Thanks to my colleagues Steve Lew, Senior Project Director, CompassPoint Nonprofit Services and Maura Bairley, Interdependent Consultant for Social Change, for their contributions to this piece. When I work with organizations around diversity and equity[1], I start with managers, because I believe that their buy-in and investment is essential for the work to succeed. Lately, I’ve been struck by a gap I see between what it takes to build diverse, equitable organizations and how prepared many non-profit managers are for this work. In this...
read more#BlackLivesMatter: 5 Tips & 25 Questions for Nonprofit & Public Organizations
Greetings and Happy Winter! I usually write something celebratory to mark the end of the year. But, today I’m interrupting my own business-as-usual to write about #BlackLivesMatter. How can non-profit and public organizations address anti-Black racism and support the #BlackLivesMatter movement? Many organizations have already been in action and are setting examples for others. This post provides tips and questions for ongoing reflection, learning, and action. Many thanks to J. Elena Featherston, Amiko Mayeno, Dawna Vann, and Alex Tom for...
read moreSix Practices for Building Staff Morale from the Inside Out
Non-profits are magnets for people who want to make a difference in the world, yet many people who start out with high ideals end up down and discouraged. There is often one big obstacle to staff morale – the morale of the leaders themselves. When leaders are deflated, overwhelmed and/or on survival mode, they aren’t good morale boosters for the organization. This is why attending to the morale of leaders is often a good starting point. We humans have basic needs in our lives that are directly related to morale. We want to grow...
read moreWhen Your Buttons Get Pushed: Cultivating Self-Empathy
“Someone said something that really pushed my buttons. I was too upset to use my listening skills or respond in a positive way. What can I do to deal with my own feelings when I’m triggered?” This topic comes up often in my Authentic Communication workshops. Here’s a response based on tools that I have used in my own life and in coaching others. If you are getting triggered you probably have a need that isn’t getting met. One way to get in touch with that need is to practice self-empathy, based on principles of Nonviolent...
read moreHow Gender Boxes Harm All Children and What We Can Do About It
My early parenting experiences were sometimes hard. I had a child who I thought was a boy. They liked to play with dolls and dress up as a princess and I didn’t know if that was okay. I’ve learned a lot since then, and today I’m sharing some of what I’ve learned about the impact of gender boxes on children. As early as two years of age, children learn that there are different rules for boys and girls that they are expected to follow. They learn by the example that is set by parents, caregivers and siblings. They learn...
read moreIntent and Impact Across Difference: 10 Tips
Negative Impact Happens Have you ever said or done things with the best intentions that ended up being hurtful or damaging? Or maybe someone said or did something that didn’t sit right with you? You’re not alone. This post provides some tips for how to respond to such situations. Messages we send or actions we take are often received differently than intended. This can happen more often when cultural differences are involved, because our culture influences how we see things. We also carry many unconscious biases and prejudices and...
read moreDiversity, Equity and Inclusion – Why are we talking about this?
In my work with organizations around topics of diversity, equity and inclusion, I often hear that a few people are asking “Why do we need to talk about this?” This usually happens in organizations that serve very diverse communities, with staffs that aren’t as diverse. And, usually, there’s less diversity in the senior management and board. So, isn’t the answer to that question a no-brainer? Well, actually, no, it isn’t. I am glad this question is asked because people often assume that we all know diversity is important, but...
read moreSelf-Care for Sustainability and Social Change
As we enter a new era and a new year, I am dedicating this blog to all people who work to make a difference in the world. The topic I chose, caring for our selves and each other as we work to make a difference, is in keeping with the theme of transformation and renewal. Many thanks to Lea Arellano,of Human Solutions Consulting and Training, for her coaching and feedback in writing this blog. Passionate People Losing Passion For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to make a difference. As a girl, I gave money to the United Farmworkers,...
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